3 Stars
How much can you hide? Jemima Hutton is determined to build a successful new life and keep her past a dark secret. Trouble is, her jewellery business looks set to fail - until enigmatic Ben Davies offers to stock her handmade belt buckles in his guitar shop and things start looking up, on all fronts. But Ben has secrets too. When Jemima finds out he used to be the front man of hugely successful Indie rock band Willow Down, she wants to know more. Why did he desert the band on their US tour? Why is he now a semi-recluse? And the curiosity is mutual - which means that her own secret is no longer safe ... I bought this book sometime during 2014. The cover was cute, and the story did stir curiosity within me. I started reading it and lost interest before I reached half of the book. For me, a book really needs to grab the reader’s attention and interest from page 1 until the end. However, I did struggle with this read. From the beginning I could pick up on predictability, too cliché and your typical heroine and hero romance. Jemima, the heroine in her own life, and written in 1st POV. Your typical gorgeous girl with a past to run as far away as possible…hell…you need to run girl…that kind of past…Most of her turmoil played off within her head. Angst, fear and flight mode kicking in every time someone came too close. She was likable, witty and the almost perfect friend. However, her story lacked. It felt like there could’ve been more story, more detail. Her heroism kind of lacked real power. It was a bit rushed. Even the part, where she finally came clean on her part…it came way too fast and ended way to fast. I already forgot what her past was about…and that’s sort of a part that really needs to stand out, so we can sense where her growth took place and when she became this heroine powerhouse…which in fact did not happen. It was all too quick. Ben…celebrity gone bad, fled the scene and disappeared for no-one to ever find the truth, or in this case, finding him. But we all know how this usually turns out. I felt Ben, the hero…his character was much more powerful. A connection sparked, me really feeling his pain, hurt, fear and anxiety. At times his character was a real powerhouse, a bit too strong for the lead character, being Jemima. However, the character combination somehow worked. Saskia…the evil villain went at it well. I could taste the sourness and smell the disgust I felt towards this woman…a character living up to our expectancy of a real bitchy villain. However, nearing the end and coming to conclusion why she was this way…it fell flat. A strong character lead, gone completely soft which for me did not fit within this scenario which played off. As if an alternative ending or ‘her reasons’ could’ve been different. The story overall in this section started off great, but lost track in my opinion. Now I simply regard her as a weak character. Rosie…a sweet sweet single mother trying to find her own two feet, never mind finding her own way. The twist in the end was a bit… ‘Huh? Okay…’ More detail again could’ve been added. Rosie’s ending was weak and strange. Yes, things like this happen, but for some reason it simply did not fit into this story-line for me. The plot only really started picking up nearing the end. All the twists which I did not expect…that was interesting. I’m trying hard not to give out any spoilers. I really enjoyed each character’s dirty/painful secret and how it caught you by surprise never to think that was possible. A real ‘Oh my word’ moment. Quite a few actually. I’m rating this book 3 stars. The story could’ve been better. Lack of volume if I may, rushing over important details. The whole book felt a bit rushed and I really would’ve enjoyed it if it weren’t for the above. When a character is in turmoil, you really need to dive into details as to why. Make the reader believe as to why the character is the way he/she is. In this case, details were rushed, and focus was placed upon irrelevant details which didn’t need attention. If this makes sense at all. Now for the big question…will I read anything else from the author, Jane Lovering? Of course, I will. She really pulls you in. Her stories are interesting, and I really want to give her another change before judging too harshly. This story wasn’t awful. Don’t get me wrong. In my opinion as a reader, it lacked here and there. But I will most definitely pick up her other novels and see what she has to offer.
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5 STARS
this is the journey of surviving through poetry this is the blood sweat tears of twenty-one years this is my heart in your hands this is the hurting the loving the breaking the healing -rupi kaur How does one respond in a non-cliché manner to such a person who endured such hurting, loving, breaking and healing? How does one resonate with such hatred, pain, anger and darkness when you know nothing of what that given person had to witness and endure? This writing. This heart on a platter. This tear dripping from our hands as we turn each page. When you read something as raw as this…what are your thoughts? How do you feel? Could you relate in any way? Did you manage to sympathize? These are all questions, emotions and responses that swam in my head when I read the book and related to every single page. As with many, too many in fact, other woman in the world…we know what it is to be violated, spat out with our bare bones exposed, hurt…our hearts ripped out of our chest. The abused who ultimately becomes the abuser. In the end, all you long for, crave and need is that one touch which will make you whole again. But that touch will never come. Because it is not the other who makes us whole, instead it is recognizing that it is us who make ourselves whole and then ultimately heals. It’s strange to have read this book at this exact moment in my life. If I had read the book a few months ago, I would have told you exactly how I managed to relate to Rupi Kaur. You see, I know what it feels like staring into the predator’s eye, hungry for a child’s flesh…only to rip her open and devour every single piece. I know what it feels like to long for a father who was never to begin with. Instead he created his own bubble with his new wife and children…leaving me out of the equation. I know what it feels like to be hunted by those who crave only our tears, screams and sweat. When they finished absorbing our energy, they spat us out like fish bones, exposed to the heat of the scorching sun. I know what it is to have an alcoholic parent… a mother…who betrayed my love…she was suppose to protect me in every single way, instead she left me for the wolves. I know what it feels like to have been the abused becoming the abuser…ripping out another heart…not feeling much. Why should I care… But you see, I’ve searched for myself for many years. Yearned for healing. Longed for love. Needed to become whole again. And I found myself. I now know that that girl wasn’t me. That which was, did not define me. I needed to experience all of that, just as Rupi Kaur had to, for we grew stronger and learned valuable lessons and getting to know ourselves…how strong we truly are. It’s the first time I’ve read such poetry that truly resonated with me on every single level. It was me she was writing about. I became one with Rupi Kaur. But the most beautiful thing in life has and always will be…we have a choice. We always had a choice. Do you choose the path of destruction? Or do you choose the path of reconciliation and healing? We constantly are given choices, in fact, on a daily base are we given a choice. Left, or right? Onward or backward? As Rupi Kaur so beautifully depicts, she chose to move onward. She chose to rise above the horizon and touch the moon. She chose to bathe her heart within the drops of the rain. Our scars may still be visible on the surface. But we wear them proudly. Because within our hearts, we nurture the seedlings of love, light and peace. Let me first apologize for being absent for quite some time now.
Usually when it comes to blogs, reviews and being social-media active…there is this expectancy vibe floating around that we who write, review and create an online presence, that we do not have a life other than sitting in front of our laptops, books and social media apps. But that is where the misconception hides…You see, we do have a private life other than nose-in-the-book and being socially hungry. It all comes down to the individual, what he/she wants for himself and why he/she is creating an online presence. All of us are unique and different and do things our own way. That is indeed the beauty of free will. I chose to create an online presence for myself. Not to become the next best blogger in town. Neither to become socially famous. I chose to review books, read books, create a small space on Facebook and Instagram, because I enjoy reading, writing and creating…and of course to share it with those who may be interested. With that small intro and explanation, let me share with you a little as to where I’ve been the past few weeks. As a toddler and very young girl, straight through to my teens, I witnessed and endured hell. No need to elaborate as every individual has his/her own story. As a young adult; confusion, hatred and fear consumed me whereas it ruled every fiber within me. As a wife and mother, for the first time, healing started taking place in all areas, but at a very slow pace. All gratitude energy flows to my husband for this, as he was the one who broke down my walls brick by brick and helped me realize I can actually heal. It wasn’t easy though. I then entered my thirties. A time where that nudging feeling grew stronger of... “This life as we know it, living it…this can’t be it. There is more. I know it. I feel it.” However, my stubbornness and constantly living-in-the-future mindset…I drove myself freakin crazy and created this web of fear in which I fell for…my own trap. The warnings were heard. Guidance was accepted. Love and healing was absorbed. Yet, my EGO just didn’t turn the hell OFF. What is it with our monkey brains that keep taking control? You realize as an individual, which road, idea or turn to take in certain circumstances. You know the consequences of each and every decision you make. Still, knowing, I really struggled to turn off my mind for one bit and really feeling clarity within. Until I found Ayahuasca. The whole Ayahuasca ‘thing’ belonged to my husband as he is a psychonaut. In a positive way. He researches these subjects in-depth, test it if possible and then tell us all about his ventures and experiences. Now, if there is a person in need of deep-core-healing…I vouch for my hubby. And after all, he deserves drinking the ancestral medicine at a first go, since he is the one who introduced us to it. Within three weeks, my life as I thought I knew it, flip-flopped 180 degrees. Not quite sure what happened, but my ticket was booked and bags packed. I’m on my way to my very first Ayahuasca retreat ever. Minor details of why and how is quite irrelevant. Fast forward 7 days… Due to unforeseen circumstances, I had to cut my trip short. However, I did have the privilege to experience a single Ayahuasca ceremony which by the way lasted for seven hours. The shaman said it was an incredibly powerful ceremony and much deep healing took place. I also drank San Pedro twice…of which I couldn’t stop crying for two days by the way! The only thing that I can say… “I literally died over and over and over during those seven hours. Just as I was about to give in, utter bliss, gratitude and love consumed me”. You want to know details? Go on an Ayahuasca ceremony…find out your own story. It is absolutely terrifying and magnificent and so freakin worth every penny, tear and blood that has been shed. So, I returned home…Weeks passed and I met people who even more so changed my life. During the past few weeks, I’ve got to know myself internally. I’m not this fragile weakling. All the obstacles and challenges I had to face was placed before me, so that I could grow spiritually, open my eyes and really observe life, and to ultimately realize that I am not who I think I am. I am an essence, part of the collective consciousness experiencing a human existence within a human body. All of us are a drop of ocean within the vastness of consciousness. I chose to be here, face things I had to face, learn what I have come to learn and grow, to enter the next level. I’ve realized that I have never been alone. I was never an outcast. It was only created by my perception of energies that surrounded me of which I absorbed and thought and believed the false deception in front of me, around me and within me. I’ve realized that I am loved. I can love. I am love. I’ve realized that I do have a home of which I so craved for, longed for…my ancestral family has always been there. My teachers, healers, guides and protectors have always been with me. I simply resonated at a different vibrational level whereas I could never feel them, experience them. I have lived many many lives. I have endured much pain and seen darkness. But for once, I managed to break through the web of lies and deception. I’ve pushed through and now acknowledge my place within this space in this 3D world. Never again will I be silent. I will speak my truth coming straight from my heart. I will cherish my human body. Feed it with high vibrational energy we call food which we need to sustain ourselves. I will surround myself with love, light and peace. Lower vibrational energies I will pull into my space, only to lift their spirits and make them realize…You are not who you think you are. I will help you see the light, experience the love and feel utter peace. Allow me to share a very special and powerful message with you. After all, I am a Messenger… Do not be afraid of the dark. Do not be afraid of the unknown. Get out of your comfort zone and explore your heart. Do not let your monkey brain silence you. Do not let your Ego rule you. Explore new ventures and feel what is right from within your heart. Walking this path has never been easy. Find the Warrior within you… I am a Warrior My scars are battle scars I wear them proudly I am not ashamed of them I am a Warrior Trauma I had to experience in my life, happened to this body These were the challenges my soul chose to learn and evolve from I am not scared anymore I embrace every memory I embrace my power within I am a Warrior I can now freely share my story I can now motivate and encourage others I can help those to climb out of their own created web I can let them feel the rain on their skin I can let them touch the rays of the sun and feel the heat I am a Warrior My scars are battle scars I wear them proudly I am not ashamed of them I am a Warrior |
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