This is a blog where I mostly review books. However, the occasional ‘random topic’ will be added.
My idea for this blog would be to create a space for the love of books, but also including some personal stories/events which truly affects each and every human being. 04 July 2017, 17:55 PM, we received a phone call… My husband’s grandfather just died. Questions containing how’s, why’s, when’s etc. are quite irrelevant at this stage. Sadness crept in. An overwhelming sensation of hollowness grew larger within us…second’s and BAM! It hits you. It hits you again. It hits you over and over. Fear creeps in. Slithering through your system. Poisoning your blood. Nausea is overwhelming. Panic causes havoc. Heart rate spikes. Breathing becomes hollow. Tears blind you. Cringing forward, we hold one another and weep. It’s Saturday morning, 8th of July 2017, 8:04 AM. The funeral is today. Grandma is all alone in that big house. Family offered that she lives with them…but, how can she? Grandpa still lingers. His scent is everywhere. She touches his clothes. It still feels warm. She stares at his side on the bed. Creases still fresh. Can’t touch it. No…leave it as it is. Slowly she’ll slip into her side on the bed. He’s there. Breathing, softly and slowly. She can hear his heartbeat. His voice silently, yet loudly echoes in the house. Grandma has to leave Tiny behind this morning. Tiny is barking and crying… feeling… knowing… his dad has gone home. But Tiny wants to go with. Grandma can’t stop crying. In fact, she hadn’t stopped crying since Grandpa said good-bye 4 days ago. She needs to get ready for the funeral. Tiny has been their only child for years. He isn’t familiar staying home alone. He needs his Mom and Dad each moment of every day. Family came to fetch Grandma for the funeral. She’s confused. She’s heartbroken. She’s lonely. She doesn’t like this. Why is Grandpa not here with her? They were supposed to go home together. Why did he leave so early? Why did he leave her and Tiny? You see, Grandpa had this energy about him. He always smiled, laughed, made jokes and most important of all encouraged us constantly. He was the only person that never judged us. e was the only one to say: “You just watch…Rowan is going to stand out and surprise you all. You just wait and see.” Rowan is my husband. Grandpa is actually his grandfather. He always believed in Rowan since childhood. While mothers and fathers, aunts and uncles doubted and judged Rowan, Grandpa waved it all away and only always saw the best in his grandson. We decided to become Vegetarians…Grandpa never asked why. We decided to home-school our children…Grandpa never judged. We decided to follow our spiritual journey…Grandpa only encouraged us. We decided to follow our hearts and walk our own path…Grandpa never condemned us. Family will die. We’ll be sad, grieve for a moment and then life simply continues. However, this time is different. A legend in our eyes and hearts has passed. An energetic shift has taken place. Grandpa touched so many lives unknowingly. He was the anchor. He was the boat. He was the Captain of the ship. He held everything together. Grandpa Dirkie…Thank You for who you were. Thank You for all the good and fun times. Thank You for joking constantly and making us laugh that our tummies hurt. Your laughter alone was incredibly contagious. Thank You for your kind, loving and encouraging words always. Thank You for believing in me – Rowan. Thank You for accepting me – Ashleigh. Thank You for cherishing me – Arjay. Thank You for adoring me – Saskia. We’ll miss your voice. Your touch. Your hugs. Your laughter. Your words. We’ll miss you. Go now Grandpa. Go home. Your mother, father and brothers are waiting for you. Go now. Be still child. You return to your creator. We love you forever and always. R.A.A.S Family
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